A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making
love
to a very attractive young woman.
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a
faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a
divorce
straight away!' And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so
at
least I can tell you what happened.'
'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to
me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home,
and
this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and
defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed
that
she
was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she
hadn't
eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I
made
for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll
put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw
them
away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you
have
had for a few years, but don't use because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you
don't use because I don't have good taste. I found the ***y blouse my
sister
gave you for Christmas that you don't use just to annoy her, and I also
donated
those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't use because
someone
at work has the same pair.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for
my
understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me
with
tears in her eyes and said, 'Please ... Do you have anything else that
your
wife doesn't use?'
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