----- Original Message -----
From: <honestjohn@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
Newsgroups: alt.humor.puns
Sent: Friday, June 20, 2008 7:45 PM
Subject: Re: 115 Days
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3D6D.E2B473E4@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 115 days to Columbus Day.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3D6D.E2B473E4@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 115 days to Columbus Day.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3D94.85C721EA@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 12 days since 06/07/08.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3E00.42818335@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 135 days since Shrove Tuesday.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3DDD.97C35656@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 135 days since 02/05/08.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3DF5.EF508CBA@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 135 days since Mardi Gras.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3DEC.CC5D6A43@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 135 days since Super Tuesday.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3E64.80CF2902@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 145 days to Veteran's Day.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3EED.5BF2BD59@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 165 days to World AIDS Day.
Yeah!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3EC1.EB6E8821@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 170 days since New Year's Day.
Yeah!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:hBJ6k.12536$E41.2477@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "WhoMe" <whomepuns@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:0001HW.C47AC9110026DECDF0386648@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> On Sun, 15 Jun 2008 13:15:57 -0500, nemo wrote
>> (in article <x%c5k.9930$E41.2834@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>):
>>
>> >
>> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > news:484F8062.5DA6DCA7@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> nemo wrote:
>> >>
>> >>> "JokesRealm.com" <canuckle83NOSPAM@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> >>> news:gaY1k.6518$js6.2249@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> >>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>> --
>> >>>> -------
>> >>>> , Andrew M. - contact me via Live Sup****t @[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> >>>> Pokerhex.com for buy/sell PS play money
>> >>>> http://www.pokerhex.com
>> >>>> ------------------------------------------
>> >>>> Bored? Head over to: JokesRealm.com
>> >>>> http://www.jokesrealm.com
>> >>>> -----------------------------
>> >>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> >>>> news:4831252F.A7A6AD7E@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> >>>>> Cherokee: Indian key?
>> >>>>>
>> >>>>> Moo Ding: Musical Chinese cow.
>> >>>>
>> >>>>
>> >>>
>> >>> Mooed Music: What it is singing!
>> >>
>> >> Do cows have Mooed Swings?
>> >>
>> > Nope. They have udder ones though, especially when they're running
> along..
>> >
>> >
>>
>> Something to chew over, but cows do like to cud-dle
>
> A chicken is a noble beast,
> The cow is much forlorner;
> A-standing in the pouring rain,
> A leg at every corner.
>
> William McGoonagle!
>
> Neddie: What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?!! He
wasn't
> one of us!
>
> Eccles: Yer. But ee woz wunner dem though!
>
PISS!
"Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:485B3F25.CF767653@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 185 days since First Airplane Day.
Yeah!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:hBJ6k.12537$E41.468@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14B1.2FBE7AD1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>>
>> nemo wrote:
>>
>> Tim Bruening <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> news:41D662EC.FAF07894@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > Sermon: Preaching knight.
>>
>> Vicar: Preaching automobile.
>>
>> Carton: 2,000 lb auto.
>
> Archbishop Vicarious: President of Cyprus donkeys' years ago who visiten
> London and brought traffic in Camden to a Stan's till! (He was charging
> them
> 5/- to get into Camden Street where the cathedral is.)
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:EBJ6k.12544$E41.11231@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14CF.65DD6E3A@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> nemo wrote:
>>
>> > Methuselah Jones <methuselah@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > news:Xns94D761CB34467methuselahaltgeekorg@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > > A cathedral had posted a "Help Wanted: Bell Ringer" sign in front
of
> the
>> > > church. A man came to the door of the church and, having no arms,
> banged
>> > > his head against the door to effect a knock. The priest answered,
>> > > and
>> > > asked, "How can I help you, my son?"
>> > >
>> > > "I've come for the bell-ringer position," the man replied eagerly.
>> > >
>> > > The priest looked down at the man's body, realizing he couldn't
> possibly
>> > > perform the task, but unsure of what to say. But before he could
say
>> > > anything, the enthusiastic man rushed past him and ran up the steps
>> > > to
>> > > the belfry. The priest ran after him, not knowing what the man was
up
>> > > to. As he reached the top of the stairs, to his horror, he saw the
>> > > armless man jump face-first into the bell. "DONG!!!!" went the
bell.
> The
>> > > priest was overwhelmed by this display. "My son, please..." he
> started,
>> > > but to no avail, as the man was already jumping again. "DONG!!!"
> "Please
>> > > stop this, my son!" yelled the priest, but the man just backed up
for
>> > > another charge. As he started to run towards the bell again, the
> priest
>> > > managed to get in front of him, but just at the last moment, the
> armless
>> > > man dodged to the side, tripped, and fell from the belfry.
>> > >
>> > > Horrified, the priest ran downstairs and outside, where a crowd of
>> > > people had gathered around the body of the armless man. "Who is
>> > > this?"
>> > > asked a member of the crowd, turning to the priest.
>> > >
>> > > "I don't know," the priest responded, "but his face sure rings a
> bell."
>> > >
>> > > A few weeks later, as the priest was sitting in his office
> contemplating
>> > > the service for the upcoming mass, he heard a knock at the door.
Upon
>> > > opening it he saw another armless man, identical to the unfortunate
> soul
>> > > who had visited him before. At first the priest just stared in
shock,
>> > > thinking it was the same person, but realizing it couldn't possibly
> be.
>> > > Finally he managed to blurt out, "Can. . .can I help you?"
>> > >
>> > > "Yes," answered the man, "I have come to pay respects to my dead
twin
>> > > brother. He was here a few weeks ago and died in a tragic
accident."
>> > >
>> > > "Oh! Oh, your twin!" exclaimed the priest. "Oh my, yes! I am so
very
>> > > sorry for your loss, my son. Would you like to come in and light a
>> > > candle for him?"
>> > >
>> > > "No, I just want to ring the bell for him."
>> > >
>> > > "No! Wait!" the priest cried, feeling like he was trapped in a
> recurring
>> > > nightmare. But the armless man went da****ng up the stairs before
the
>> > > priest could do anything. Just as his brother had done earlier, the
> man
>> > > jumped face-first into the bell. "DONG!!!!!" "No! Please, my son!
> Stop!"
>> > > the priest cried in desperation. "DONG!!!!!" The hysterical priest
>> > > ran
>> > > about frantically, trying to tackle the fanatic bell-ringer.
>> > > Suddenly,
>> > > the second armless man tripped, and he too fell to his death on the
>> > > pavement below.
>> > >
>> > > The poor priest was utterly shocked and horrified. He frantically
> dashed
>> > > down to the church yard, and again found a crowd of people looking
> over
>> > > the body. "Who is this?" inquired one of the people.
>> > >
>> > > "I don't know," replied the priest, "but he's a dead ringer for his
>> > > brother."
>> > >
>> > Then all the bellropes mysteriously disintegrated. As the tower
wasn't
> too
>> > strong, they sent a very light, slim, female bellringer up there with
a
>> > hammer to give the bells a good high ding.
>> >
>> > She soon became known as Ding-dong Mary Lee on high!
>> >
>> > (Next time you see a brass band playing carols, ask for that one. The
> big
>> > long Glorrrrrrrrrrrria bit is damned difficult on brass instruments -
>> > especially if you ask for the counterpoint as well!)
>>
>> A Her Ding!
>>
>> Commando: To give an order to a female deer.
>
> Commondo: A female deer not worth giving orders to!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:FBJ6k.12547$E41.659@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14DA.14CF6607@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 18:12:35 GMT, "nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >> >>>>>>>>> XB: Extraterrestrial buzzing insect that makes honey.
Also
>> the
>> >Russian
>> >> >>>>>>>>> initials for "Christ Is Risen".
>> >> >>>>>>>>What I want to know is: who fed him all that baking powder!
>> >> >>>>>>>The three rise men from the yeast.
>> >> >>>>>>Thank you. A real pun.
>> >> >>>>>He was bread for it.
>> >> >>>>
>> >> >>>>Ah ... a bit of rye humour.
>> >> >>>
>> >> >>>I tried that on a flatfoot who flagged me down. He toed my
>> caraway.
>> >> >>
>> >> >>That was pretty seedy of him.
>> >> >
>> >> >Yah, and right in front of a short-order seafood place. Now I avoid
>> >> >Framingham fish fry.
>> >>
>> >> You let the chips fall where they may?
>> >
>> >Advice ot overweight sailors: ABANDON CHIP!!!
>>
>> Navel oranges: Seagoing citrus.
>
> Do they travel in pears then??
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:FBJ6k.12546$E41.8750@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14D6.E658BF5@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 18:12:35 GMT, "nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >> >>>>>>>>> XB: Extraterrestrial buzzing insect that makes honey.
Also
>> the
>> >Russian
>> >> >>>>>>>>> initials for "Christ Is Risen".
>> >> >>>>>>>>What I want to know is: who fed him all that baking powder!
>> >> >>>>>>>The three rise men from the yeast.
>> >> >>>>>>Thank you. A real pun.
>> >> >>>>>He was bread for it.
>> >> >>>>
>> >> >>>>Ah ... a bit of rye humour.
>> >> >>>
>> >> >>>I tried that on a flatfoot who flagged me down. He toed my
>> caraway.
>> >> >>
>> >> >>That was pretty seedy of him.
>> >> >
>> >> >Yah, and right in front of a short-order seafood place. Now I avoid
>> >> >Framingham fish fry.
>> >>
>> >> You let the chips fall where they may?
>> >
>> >Advice ot overweight sailors: ABANDON CHIP!!!
>>
>> Navel oranges: Seagoing citrus.
>
> Shamouti or real outi?
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:GBJ6k.12549$E41.446@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14E1.284F31AF@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>>
>> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>>
>> > On Tue, 27 Jan 2004 08:32:23 -0700, "MosZibby" <CLOWN@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>> >
>> > >> >> >> One word - tripod!
>> > >> >> >>
>> > >> >> >> Ærchie
>> > >> >> >
>> > >> >> >Carp, now Larry will think he's being summoned.
>> > >> >> >
>> > >> >> Summoned? I thought he was possessed - - -
>> > >> >
>> > >> >That, too. Maybe we need Father O'Brien.
>> > >> >But Larry does carry on about his appendages and
>> > >> >has delusions about one of them.
>> > >>
>> > >> That's it, shorty. We're going to settle this once and for all.
>> Just
>> > >> let me get my 100 foot tape measure. You can bring your 6 inch
>> ruler.
>> > >
>> > >So you fold your tape up 12 times, I use my ruler twice.
>> > >Works for me.
>> >
>> > Let's see now. Eight feet vs. twelve inches.
>> >
>> > The Winner and Still Champion -- Larry Krzewinski
>> >
>> > <the crowd cheers and applauds loudly>
>> >
>> > I'd like to thank a few people.
>> >
>> > <Larry unfolds a list>
>> >
>> > First of all my sore but smiling wife, my mom, my agent, my trainer
>> > Bubbles and all my adoring female fans everywhere. My new book "The
>> > Pole - An Illustrated Autobiography" will be out in better adult book
>> > stores everywhere next month.
>>
>> Autobiography: Life story of a car.
>>
>> > I'll be signing autographs outside.
>>
>> Autograph: Graph of car sales.
>
> Windsor Car Sale? Dover Car Sale? Arundel Car Sale? The Tower of London?
>
> When you aMerkins bought London Bridge, you thought you were getting
Tower
> Bridge didden chew - AND you fort it was mediæval when it's really
> Victorian, didden chew!!! Heheheheheheheheeeeee!!
>
> DUMMMMMMB!!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:HBJ6k.12550$E41.11977@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14E5.CA2D0B37@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> Harry Marmoset wrote:
>>
>> > Hear about the hard working lumberjack?
>> >
>> > He got promoted to branch manager
>>
>> He then clear cut the workforce.
>
> Workforce: Very violent labourers!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:OBJ6k.12552$E41.3938@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14ED.C80DDF0A@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>>
>> On 8 Feb 2006 20:44:15 -0800, "Rabid Hoojib" <RabidHoojib@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> found
>> these unused words floating about:
>>
>> >Light Saber: A very un-heavy sword...
>> Saber Tooth: Without batteries it doesn't work!
>>
>> Saber Tooth: Jedi weapon with bite! Rise Lord Vader!
>
> It's sabre and to spell it otherwise is daft, Vader!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:JBJ6k.12551$E41.7282@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14E8.27B83D5A@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>>
>> nemo wrote:
>>
>> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > news:44964DE7.A3719B7A@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > >
>> > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>> > >
>> > > On 8 Feb 2006 20:44:15 -0800, "Rabid Hoojib"
>> > > <RabidHoojib@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> > > found
>> > > these unused words floating about:
>> > >
>> > > >Light Saber: A very un-heavy sword...
>> > > Saber Tooth: Without batteries it doesn't work!
>> > >
>> > > Saber Tooth: Jedi weapon with bite! Rise Lord Vader!
>> > >
>> > Give eem some bicarbonate of soda and tartaric acid to eat! That'll
do
> it!
>>
>> Bicarbonate: A gay carbonate?
>
> Bike Arbour Nate?
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:FBJ6k.12546$E41.8750@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14D6.E658BF5@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> On Thu, 15 Apr 2004 18:12:35 GMT, "nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
>> wrote:
>>
>> >> >>>>>>>>> XB: Extraterrestrial buzzing insect that makes honey.
Also
>> the
>> >Russian
>> >> >>>>>>>>> initials for "Christ Is Risen".
>> >> >>>>>>>>What I want to know is: who fed him all that baking powder!
>> >> >>>>>>>The three rise men from the yeast.
>> >> >>>>>>Thank you. A real pun.
>> >> >>>>>He was bread for it.
>> >> >>>>
>> >> >>>>Ah ... a bit of rye humour.
>> >> >>>
>> >> >>>I tried that on a flatfoot who flagged me down. He toed my
>> caraway.
>> >> >>
>> >> >>That was pretty seedy of him.
>> >> >
>> >> >Yah, and right in front of a short-order seafood place. Now I avoid
>> >> >Framingham fish fry.
>> >>
>> >> You let the chips fall where they may?
>> >
>> >Advice ot overweight sailors: ABANDON CHIP!!!
>>
>> Navel oranges: Seagoing citrus.
>
> Shamouti or real outi?
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:pBJ6k.12541$E41.5111@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14C2.9EDC9F98@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> Lizard wrote:
>>
>> > On Sat, 10 Apr 2004 08:52:21 -0700, Tim Bruening
>> > <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrotC:DRIVE_E
>> >
>> > >A forwarded goodie from my sister in law:
>> > >
>> > >A tragic fire on Monday destroyed the personal library
>> > >of George W. Bush.
>> > >
>> > >Both of his books have been lost.
>> > >
>> > >A presidential spokesman said Mr. Bush was devastated,
>> > >as he had not finished coloring the second one.
>>
>> Stating: Very big bell.
>
> I toll due. You can't hear the one we've got a Westminster because
there's
> a
> low ding restriction!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:EBJ6k.12545$E41.6328@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14D3.28BE2D07@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> nemo wrote:
>>
>> > Michael Balarama <mbalar@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > news:1080t0qh00jm2df@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > >
>> > > "Marmoset" <marmoset@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > > news:Xns94CDBEEDB9145marmosetyahoocom@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > > > Did you hear how witches make sure their potions are correct?
>> > > >
>> > > > They use a spell checker
>> > >
>> > > in order to know how long to wait she uses her witch watch.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > Witch watch was that then? Edward Woodward would!
>> >
>> > And . . . it got hot and made her wrist wroast!
>> >
>> > Wrist watch for an whore's man: A Rowlox!
>
> Or for an whores' man!
>>
>> Sandwich: Witch on the beach.
>
> Weeeee used to have Gorgon Zola cheese and Branston Pickle rolls on the
> beach! Umyay Umyay!
>
> Emile didn't mind a bit!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:uBJ6k.12542$E41.10583@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14C7.43DEF6DF@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> Michael Balarama wrote:
>>
>> > was sent to me.:
>> > There once was a farmer who collected tractors. He had so many that
>> > he kept them in barns. However, he eventually grew tired of the
hobby.
>> > So he set fire to the tractors. A neighbor found the farmer standing
>> > outside a barn, sucking the smoke out in attempt to make the fire
burn
>> > hotter. "What's going on?" asked the neighbor. "Well," the farmer
said,
>> > "I used to love these machines, but now I've become an ex-tractor
fan."
>>
>> Then the tractors committed crimes, becoming con-tractors.
>
> Then they got caught and crushed at a scrap yard and became ex-tractors,
> and
> all teh people who approved of this also became ex-tractor fans!
>
> Ze air-conditionink engineer ist verkingk overtime tonight!
>
> Ven??
>
> Till late!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:lBJ6k.12540$E41.7388@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14BE.D9F381A7@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> Michael Balarama wrote:
>>
>> > "nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > news:GLAgc.114134$Ff6.25941@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > >
>> > > Michael Balarama <mbalar@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > > news:1085142s456agea@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > > > was sent to me.:
>> > > > There once was a farmer who collected tractors. He had so many
that
>> > > > he kept them in barns. However, he eventually grew tired of the
> hobby.
>> > > > So he set fire to the tractors. A neighbor found the farmer
>> > > > standing
>> > > > outside a barn, sucking the smoke out in attempt to make the fire
> burn
>> > > > hotter. "What's going on?" asked the neighbor. "Well," the farmer
> said,
>> > > > "I used to love these machines, but now I've become an ex-tractor
> fan."
>> >
>> > guess he broke off ties with John Deere.
>>
>> Oh Deere, John Doe!
>
> No he didn't. His small car broke down at night, a huge truck crashed
into
> it and he died of flivver failure!!
>
PISS! funny word "flivver".
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:jBJ6k.12539$E41.2087@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14B9.2D172D46@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> Michael Balarama wrote:
>>
>> > "nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > news:GLAgc.114134$Ff6.25941@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > >
>> > > Michael Balarama <mbalar@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> > > news:1085142s456agea@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > > > was sent to me.:
>> > > > There once was a farmer who collected tractors. He had so many
that
>> > > > he kept them in barns. However, he eventually grew tired of the
> hobby.
>> > > > So he set fire to the tractors. A neighbor found the farmer
>> > > > standing
>> > > > outside a barn, sucking the smoke out in attempt to make the fire
> burn
>> > > > hotter. "What's going on?" asked the neighbor. "Well," the farmer
> said,
>> > > > "I used to love these machines, but now I've become an ex-tractor
> fan."
>> >
>> > guess he broke off ties with John Deere.
>>
>> Oh Deere, John Dough!
>
> He caught JohnDoughss and died of liver failure!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:2CJ6k.12556$E41.3804@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A1500.667E8A3C@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> Damming: Chinese vase with water behind it.
>>
>> Damming: Vase of a mother deer.
>>
>> Hamming: Pig vase.
>>
>> Ramming: Male sheep vase.
>>
>> Slamming: Vase that hits hard.
>>
>> Timing: Clock vase.
>>
>> Timing: Time traveling Chinese vase.
>>
>> Timing: Vase from Thailand.
>
> Peppermings: Chinese sweets.
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:0CJ6k.12555$E41.2701@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14FC.5F8F5161@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>>
>> nemo wrote:
>>
>> > Soft fruit grown for quick profit: Convertible Currant-cy.
>> > (The Good Life)
>>
>> How Sub Lime.
>
> Lime is a greap fruit for flavouring pasta and curries!
>
PISS!
"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:XBJ6k.12554$E41.4231@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A14F9.C1E6D3A1@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> J. A. Mc. <jaSPAMc@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> news:a39b6017ln6tcl59ticijb7jauiij08afn@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>> > On 27 Mar 2004 10:53:13 GMT, johnnaishwerner@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
(Johnnaishwerner)
>> found
>> > these unused words floating about:
>> >
>> > >A musician was recently hospitalized with a bad case of
>> > >scherzophrenia.
>>
>> > They administered too much medication and he lay in a coda for days.
>>
>> Coda: Husband of Coma.
>>
>> Comma: Mother of punctuation.
>>
>> Comma: Mother of a computer.
>
> Comma Toes: Unconscious foot digits that can sound off very small
> intervals
> of pitch.
>
PISS!
|
