"nemo" <nemo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:KDJ6k.12586$E41.6834@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbrueni@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
> news:485A182C.D3672E82@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>>
>> "GP of ATJ" <GP_of_ATJ@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
>> news:<419a904d_3@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>...
>> >
>> > Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
>> >
>> > A: A shortage of sand.
>>
>> Time to file a sandy law suit?
>
> right! Right!! RIGHT!!!!
>
> What's the difference between a Lawyer and a skunk?
> Nobody wants to hit a skunk.
>
> Why won't vultures eat dead Lawyers?
> There are some things that would gag even a vulture.
>
> What do you do if you run over a Lawyer?
> Back over him to make sure. Then make another notch on the steering
wheel.
>
> What is the only disadvantage in using Lawyers instead of rats in
> laboratory
> experiments?
> It's harder to extrapolate the test results to human beings.
>
> How many Lawyers does it take to roof a house?
> Depends on how thin you slice them.
>
> Why won't sharks attack Lawyers?
> Professional courtesy.
>
> What do you have when a Lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
> Not enough sand.
>
> When Lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
> Because deep down, they are all nice guys!
>
> What are Lawyers good for?
> They make used car salesmen and estate agents look good.
>
> How do you get a Lawyer out of a tree?
> Cut the rope.
>
> How do you save a drowning Lawyer?
> Take your foot off his head.
>
> How do you kill 4000 Lawyers?
> You build a new Titanic and declare it cannot sink.
>
> How many Lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
> Never enough.
>
> What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a Lawyer?
> An offer you can't understand.
>
> What is the difference between a ****cupine and two Lawyers in a ****sche?
> With a ****cupine, the pricks are on the outside!
>
> What do you buy a friend working for a Lawyer?
> A lobotomy.
>
> What is the difference between a catfish and a Lawyer?
> One's a bottom-crawling s*** sucker and the other's just a fish.
>
> What is the difference between a female Lawyer and a catfish?
> One's slimy and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.
>
> What is the difference between a Lawyer and a leech?
> A leech will let go and drop off when the victim dies.
>
> What do slime moulds have more of than Lawyers?
> Respect.
>
> What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full of Lawyers?
> He would starve to death.
>
> Why don't hyenas eat Lawyers?
> Even hyenas has some dignity.
>
> What do you call an honest Lawyer?
> An impossibility.
>
> What do you get when you cross a Lawyer with another Lawyer?
> Nothing. There are some things that not even nature can permit.
>
> Why didn't the circus clown feel so bad about his career?
> At least he wasn't a Lawyer.
>
> What is the difference between pigs and Lawyers.
> You can learn to respect a pig.
>
> What happens when you try to cross a pig with a Lawyer?
> Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't do.
>
> Did you hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Lawyers?
> He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
>
> What does a Lawyer and a spermatozoon have in common?
> Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.
>
> Where can you find a good Lawyer?
> In the cemetery.
>
> What is the difference between a Lawyer and a gigolo?
> A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
>
> What do Lawyers use as contraceptives?
> Their personalities.
>
> If a vampire bites a Lawyer, isn't that cannibalism?
>
> What is brown and black and looks good on a Lawyer's testes?
> A Doberman.
>
> What's eighteen inches long and hangs in front of an asshole?
> The tie around a Lawyer's neck.
>
> Why did the Post Office recall the new Lawyer stamps?
> Because people could not tell which side to spit on.
>
> Did you hear about the Lawyer who was so big when he died that they
> couldn't
> find a coffin big enough to hold the body?
> They evacuated his colon and buried him in a shoebox.
>
> How do you know if a Lawyer is well hung?
> You can't fit a finger between the rope and his neck.
>
> Why should Lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when on holiday at a beach
> resort?
> Because they're used to doing all of their lying indoors.
>
> Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest Lawyer and an old drunk are
> walking
> down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar
> bill. Who gets it?
> The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.
>
> Why do lawyers wear ties?
> They stop their foreskins from rising up their necks
>
>
> Full credit to the original poster - except frothy lie 4 me I can't
> remember
> who he/she/it was.
>
PISS!
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