A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a rabbi all served as chaplains to
the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would
get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing
led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go
out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. "Well," he said, "I
went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to
read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do
with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water,
sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a
lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and
confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and
both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone
oratory, he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I
went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from
God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took
HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED
him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as
gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."
The priest and the reverend both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying
in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and
monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The
Rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, cir***cision may not have
been the best way to start."
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