St. Andrews
A Scottish Jew who had worked hard all his life in Scotland, decided
that he would like to enjoy life a little, so he went to the exclusive
St. Andrews Club.
He was told on applying that his application would have to be approved
by the Member****p Board and that he would have their decision in a
couple of days.
Two days later he was told that his application was refused.
He went there To find out why.
He was asked, "You're Jewish, aren't you?"
"Aye" he answered, "but I'm as Scottish as you are Jock."
"Well, you understand that we wear nothing under our kilts."
"Aye, I know that."
"And being Jewish, you must be cir***cised."
"Aye I am that"
"Well, the board decided that they could not stand a cir***cised man
parading around with us."
"Och, away with ye man," he cried. "I know I must be a Protestant to
march In the Orangeman's parade, and a Catholic to belong to the Knights
of Columbus, but this is the first time I've heard that a man had to be
a complete prick to be a Scotsman!"
*.*
With a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary at the synagogue's
marriage marathon, the Rabbi asked Moishe to take a few minutes and
share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all
these years.
Moishe replied to the congregation, "Well, I treated her with respect,
spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special
occasions."
The Rabbi inquired...... trips to where?
"For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."
The Rabbi then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands
Moishe.
Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your
50th anniversary? "
Moishe replies:
"I'm going to go back and get her".
*.*
Oneliners
The only drawback in being a good s****t is you have to lose to prove
it.
What a tangled web parents weave, thinking children are naive.
Some rights are worth dying for. The right of way is not one of them.
The most powerful force in the universe is ... gossip.
Delta management proves that even a Harvard grad can be an idiot.
They call it a tax return . . as if the money you pay was going to make
a round trip.
Just because you're smart doesn't mean that the other guy is stupid.
The most im****tant things in your home are the people.
There is nothing wrong with having nothing to say ... unless you insist
on saying it.
*.*
The 21st Century
Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our religion - Creedless
Our food - Fatless
Our faith - G-Dless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Clueless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very less
*.*
Quips
When cryptography is outlawed,
bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst,
for they are sticking to their diets.
Whenever your phone rings, pick it up and say,
"For service in English, please press one."
If women really dressed to please their husbands,
they'd be wearing last year's clothes.
Issue of the Times;
An experiment that hints we are wrong on climate change
Nigel Calder, former editor of New Scientist, says the orthodoxy must be
challenged
When politicians and journalists declare that the science of global
warming
is settled, they show a regrettable ignorance about how science works. We
were treated to another dose of it recently when the experts of the
Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change issued the Summary for
Policymakers that puts the political spin on an unfinished scientific
dossier on climate change due for publication in a few months' time. They
declared that most of the rise in temperatures since the mid-20th century
is
very likely due to man-made greenhouse gases.
The small print explains "very likely" as meaning that the experts who
made
the judgment felt 90% sure about it. Older readers may recall a press
conference at Harwell in 1958 when Sir John Cockcroft, Britain's top
nuclear
physicist, said he was 90% certain that his lads had achieved controlled
nuclear fusion. It turned out that he was wrong. More positively, a 10%
uncertainty in any theory is a wide open breach for any latterday Galileo
or
Einstein to storm through with a better idea. That is how science really
works.
Twenty years ago, climate research became politicised in favour of one
particular hypothesis, which redefined the subject as the study of the
effect of greenhouse gases. As a result, the rebellious spirits essential
for innovative and trustworthy science are greeted with impediments to
their
research careers. And while the media usually find mavericks at least
entertaining, in this case they often imagine that anyone who doubts the
hypothesis of man-made global warming must be in the pay of the oil
companies. As a result, some key discoveries in climate research go almost
unre****ted.
Enthusiasm for the global-warming scare also ensures that heatwaves make
headlines, while contrary symptoms, such as this winter's billion-dollar
loss of Californian crops to unusual frost, are relegated to the business
pages. The early arrival of migrant birds in spring provides colourful
evidence for a recent warming of the northern lands. But did anyone tell
you
that in east Antarctica the Adlie penguins and Cape petrels are turning up
at their spring nesting sites around nine days later than they did 50
years
ago? While sea-ice has diminished in the Arctic since 1978, it has grown
by
8% in the Southern Ocean.
So one awkward question you can ask, when you're forking out those extra
taxes for climate change, is "Why is east Antarctica getting colder?" It
makes no sense at all if carbon dioxide is driving global warming. While
you
're at it, you might inquire whether Gordon Brown will give you a refund
if
it's confirmed that global warming has stopped. The best measurements of
global air temperatures come from American weather satellites, and they
show
wobbles but no overall change since 1999.
That levelling off is just what is expected by the chief rival hypothesis,
which says that the sun drives climate changes more emphatically than
greenhouse gases do. After becoming much more active during the 20th
century, the sun now stands at a high but roughly level state of activity.
Solar physicists warn of possible global cooling, should the sun revert to
the lazier mood it was in during the Little Ice Age 300 years ago.
Climate history and related archeology give solid sup****t to the solar
hypothesis. The 20th-century episode, or Modern Warming, was just the
latest
in a long string of similar events produced by a hyperactive sun, of which
the last was the Medieval Warming.
The Chinese population doubled then, while in Europe the Vikings and
cathedral-builders prospered. Fascinating relics of earlier episodes come
from the Swiss Alps, with the rediscovery in 2003 of a long-forgotten pass
used intermittently whenever the world was warm.
What does the Intergovernmental Panel do with such emphatic evidence for
an
alternation of warm and cold periods, linked to solar activity and going
on
long before human industry was a possible factor? Less than nothing. The
2007 Summary for Policymakers boasts of cutting in half a very small
contribution by the sun to climate change conceded in a 2001 re****t.
Disdain for the sun goes with a failure by the self-appointed greenhouse
experts to keep up with inconvenient discoveries about how the solar
variations control the climate. The sun's brightness may change too little
to account for the big swings in the climate. But more than 10 years have
passed since Henrik Svensmark in Copenhagen first pointed out a much more
powerful mechanism.
He saw from compilations of weather satellite data that cloudiness varies
according to how many atomic particles are coming in from exploded stars.
More cosmic rays, more clouds. The sun's magnetic field bats away many of
the cosmic rays, and its intensification during the 20th century meant
fewer
cosmic rays, fewer clouds, and a warmer world. On the other hand the
Little
Ice Age was chilly because the lazy sun let in more cosmic rays, leaving
the
world cloudier and gloomier.
The only trouble with Svensmark's idea - apart from its being politically
incorrect - was that meteorologists denied that cosmic rays could be
involved in cloud formation. After long delays in scraping together the
funds for an experiment, Svensmark and his small team at the Danish
National
Space Center hit the jackpot in the summer of 2005.
In a box of air in the basement, they were able to show that electrons set
free by cosmic rays coming through the ceiling stitched together droplets
of
sulphuric acid and water. These are the building blocks for cloud
condensation. But journal after journal declined to publish their re****t;
the discovery finally appeared in the Proceedings of the Royal Society
late
last year.
Thanks to having written The Manic Sun, a book about Svensmark's initial
discovery published in 1997, I have been privileged to be on the inside
track for re****ting his struggles and successes since then. The outcome is
a
second book, The Chilling Stars, co-authored by the two of us and
published
next week by Icon books. We are not exaggerating, we believe, when we
subtitle it "A new theory of climate change".
Where does all that leave the impact of greenhouse gases? Their effects
are
likely to be a good deal less than advertised, but nobody can really say
until the implications of the new theory of climate change are more fully
worked out.
The reappraisal starts with Antarctica, where those contradictory
temperature trends are directly predicted by Svensmark's scenario, because
the snow there is whiter than the cloud-tops. Meanwhile humility in face
of
Nature's marvels seems more appropriate than arrogant assertions that we
can
forecast and even control a climate ruled by the sun and the stars.
The Chilling Stars is published by Icon.
Quote of the Times;
Did you like that? USA... Ulcered Sphincter of Ass-erica, I
mean what else can you say? Here was a country that had everything,
absolutely everything. And now, 20 years later, is what? The world's
biggest
leper colony. Why? Godlessness. Let me say that again... Godlessness. It
wasn't the war they started. It wasn't the plague they created. It was
Judgement. No one escapes their past. No one escapes Judgement. You think
he's not up there? You think he's not watching over this country? How else
can you explain it? He tested us, but we came through. We did what we had
to
do. Islington. Enfield. I was there, I saw it all. Immigrants, Muslims,
homo***uals, terrorists. Disease-ridden degenerates. They had to go.
Strength through unity. Unity through faith. I'm a God-fearing Englishman
and I'm goddamn proud of it!
Link of the Times;
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article4068.htm
Subscribe or Submit to the Internet's elite source;
Send E-mail to efreem2@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
complement The Field!
or
If you like what you see,
Witness the Archives;
http://www.alumni.umbc.edu/~efreem2
An Images & Ideas, Inc. Service.
AOD 318
}; - >
|
