A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink.
Walking up behind her he says, "Hi there good lookin'. How's
it going?"
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around,
faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen up,
buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place,
in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up,
sitting down, ****d or with clothes on, dirty, clean ... it
doesn't matter to me, I've been doing it ever since I got out
of college and I just flat-ass love it."
Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding. I'm a
lawyer, too. What firm are you with?
*.*
A lawyer sent an overdue bill to his client
and attached a note that read,
"This bill is one year old."
In the return mail, the lawyer received his bill back.
To it was clipped another note: "Happy Birthday"
I'm forty and single. Don't you think it's a generalization
that you should be married at forty?
That's like looking at somebody who's seventy and saying,
"Hey, when are you gonna break your hip?
All your friends are breaking their hips,
what are you waiting for?"
*.*
"... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of
their C programs."
*.*
My wife and I were watching a track and field (athletics) meet recently.
As the women's pole vault was being shown, my wife turned to me, and in
her best voice of disapproval, said, "Their outfits are way too
revealing, don't you think?"
"Their outfits? You mean the outfits of the athletic young women who,
using large poles, thrust themselves into the air only to acrobatically
land on their backs with their legs in the air? Hadn't noticed them."
*.*
Oneliners:
The golden years . . . when actions creak louder than words
Born Free... Taxed to Death.
Sign in the Men's Room: "We aim to please. You aim too, Please."
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.
Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see
Life is full of uncertainties. Of course, I could be wrong about that
We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us stay
young.
Change is good as long as I don't have to do anything differently.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
Issue of the Times;
The late, great American nation
We live in a fundamentally different country since 9/11. Not only do many
Americans view their government with suspicion, but how their government
views them has drastically changed.
A perfect example of this took place last fall. Prior to the elections
that
transformed the makeup of Congress, the Bush Administration pushed for the
inclusion of two stealth provisions into a mammoth defense budget bill.
The
additions made it easier for the government to declare martial law and
establish a dictator****p.
Since the days of our Founding Fathers, when King George III used his
armies
to terrorize and tyrannize the colonies, the American people have
understandably distrusted the use of a national military force to
intervene
in civilian affairs, except in instances of extreme emergency and limited
duration.
Hence, as a sign of the Founders' concern that the people not be under the
power of a military government, control of the military was vested in a
civilian government, with a civilian commander-in-chief. And the Posse
Comitatus Act of 1878 furthered those safeguards against military law,
making it a crime for the government to use the military to carry out
arrests, searches, seizure of evidence and other activities normally
handled
by a civilian police force.
However, with the inclusion of a seemingly insignificant rider into the
massive defense bill (the martial law section of the 591- page Defense
Appropriations Act takes up just a few paragraphs), the Bush
Administration
has managed to weaken what the New York Times refers to as "two obscure
but
im****tant bulwarks of liberty." One is posse comitatus. The other is the
Insurrection Act of 1807, which limits a president's domestic use of the
military to putting down lawlessness, insurrection and rebellion where a
state is violating federal law or depriving the people of their
constitutional rights.
Under these new provisions, the president can now use the military as a
domestic police force in response to a natural disaster, disease outbreak,
terrorist attack or to any "other condition." According to the new law,
Bush
doesn't even have to notify Congress of his intent to use military force
against the American people- he just has to notify them once he has done
so.
The defense budget provision's vague language leaves the doors wide open
for
rampant abuse. As writer Jane Smiley noted, "the introduction of these
changes amounts, not to an attack on the Congress and the balance of
power,
but to a particular and concerted attack on the citizens of the nation.
Bush
is laying the legal groundwork to repeal even the appearance of
democracy."
The main reason we do not want the military patrolling our streets is that
under martial law, the Bill of Rights becomes null and void. A standing
army- something that propelled the early colonists into revolution- strips
the American people of any vestige of freedom. Thus, if we were subject to
martial law, there would be no rules, no protections, no judicial
oversight
and no elections. And unless these provisions are repealed, the
president's
new power will be set in stone for future administrations to use- and
abuse.
A fundamental principle of American government is to not trust public
officials. But modern Americans, primed by television pablum and ignorant
of
their history, have a tendency to trust people in office simply because
they
appear to share a common faith, say the right things or come from a
certain
region of the country. But lest we forget, power has a tendency to
corrupt;
absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Furthermore, the way this was handled proves that we cannot trust
government
officials. By sneaking this provision in as a rider to a larger bill,
public
debate and media attention were avoided. Had the provision been openly
discussed and debated, there would have been opposition and outcry. And it
most likely would have been soundly rejected. Instead, it was rushed
through
the Republican-controlled Congress prior to the elections and enacted into
law.
The Founding Fathers would have literally been up in arms over Bush's
actions. They understood the dangers inherent in vesting power in a single
person, which is exactly what this legislation pur****ts to do. There's no
limit to what the president can now do: the "any condition" language opens
the door for total power, a dictator****p. The people are left with no
defense.
Furthermore, this legislation erases the balance between the state and
federal government. The state governors understood this, and that's why
many
vocally opposed the provisions. But it was to no avail.
Who's to blame here? Congress has utterly failed to exercise its power to
check the growing power of the Executive Branch. The media have also been
woefully remiss. Although a handful of bloggers sounded the alarm, the
major
media outlets failed to re****t on it. If it weren't for a recent editorial
in the New York Times, most people would still be in the dark. What's the
point of a free press if you can't rely on the media to re****t the news?
However, the larger blame rests with the Bush Administration, whose
actions
over the past six years suggest that the American people are the enemy.
Think about some of the changes that have already moved us closer to a
police state: the invasive USA Patriot Act; the increased domestic
surveillance of citizens' emails and telephone calls; attempts to deny
habeas corpus to prisoners; a national ID card; and now this alarming new
law. In addition to opening the doors to a military state, the law also
facilitates militarized police round-ups and detaining of protesters in
detention camps that are already being built on American soil by the
Halliburton cor****ation. Americans are incredibly naive if they believe
those camps being built are just for illegal aliens.
A pattern is emerging, predicated on one horrific incident in 2001. The
current administration is laying the groundwork for a military state, and
this is our final wake-up call.
Quote of the Times;
There's this thing called the National *****sment of Adult Literacy,
which just came out and said that Americans not only can't read but are
vigorously getting worse. Here it is, from the Wa****ngton Post,
December 25 in the Year of Our Decline 2005:
"Only 41 percent of graduate students tested in 2003 could be classified
as 'proficient' in prose-reading and understanding information in short
texts-down 10 percentage points since 1992. Of college graduates, only
31 percent were classified as proficient-compared with 40 percent in
1992."
Link of the Times;
http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig3/cantor3.html
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