Don't Fart in Bed
If this story doesn't make you cry or wet yourself for
laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you !
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married
for many years. The only friction in their marriage was the
husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The
noise would
wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make
her gasp for air.
Every morning, post-fart, she would plead with him to stop
ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he
couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him
to see a doctor, as she was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he
was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put
the parts of the turkey which are not used - the neck, gizzard,liver
and all the spare parts , you know "The Giblets" - and a malicious
thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where
her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers,
she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of
turkey guts etc into the back of them. Some time later she heard her
husband
waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling
scream and the
sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife
could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing,
tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty
good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in
his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "You were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up
farting my guts out, and today it finally happened ...... but by
the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got
most of them back in."
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