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HOW WAS YODELING INVENTED?
Back in the olden days, a man was traveling through switzerland.
Nightfall
was rapidly approaching, and the man had nowhere to sleep. He went up
to a
farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer
told
him that it would be all right, and that he could sleep in the barn.
The man
went into the barn to bed down, and the farmer went back into the
house.
The farmer's daughter came down from upstairs and asked the farmer,
"Who
was that man going into the barn?" "That's some fellow traveling
through," answered the farmer. "He needed a place to stay for the
night,
so I said that he could sleep in the barn." The daughter then asked
the
farmer, "Did you offer the man anything to eat?"
"Gee, no, I didn't," the farmer answered.
The daughter said, "Well, I'm going to take him some food." She went
into
the kitchen, prepared a plate of food, and then took it out to the
barn. The
daughter was in the barn for an hour before returning to the house.
When she
came back in, her clothes were all disheveled and buttoned up wrong,
and she
had several strands of straw tangled up in her long blonde hair. She
immediately went up the stairs to her bedroom and went to sleep.
A little later, the farmer's wife came down and asked the farmer why
their
daughter went to bed so early. "I don't know," said the farmer. "I
told a
man that he could sleep in the barn, and our daughter took him some
food."
"Oh," replied the wife. "Well, did you offer the man
anything to drink?"
"Umm, no, I didn't," said the farmer. The wife then said, "I'm going
to take
something out there for him to drink." The wife went to the cellar,
got a
bottle of wine, then went out to the barn. She did not return for over
an
hour, and when she came back into the house, her clothes were also
messed
up, and she had straw twisted into her blonde hair. She went straight
up the stairs and into bed.
The next morning at sunrise, the man in the barn got up and continued
on his
journey, waving to the farmer as he left the farm. A few hours later,
the
daughter woke up and came ru****ng downstairs. She went right out to
the
barn, only to find it empty. She ran back into the house.
"Where's the man from the barn?" she eagerly asked the farmer. Her
father
answered, "He left several hours ago."
"What?" she cried. "He left without saying good bye? After all we had
together? I mean, last night he made such passionate love to me."
"What?" shouted the father. "He took advantage of you?" The farmer ran
out
into the front yard looking for the man, but by now the man was
halfway up
the side of the mountain. The farmer screamed up at him, "I'm gonna
get you!
You had *** with my daughter!" The man looked back down from the
mountainside, cupped his hands next to his mouth, and yelled out,
"I laid the old laDEE, too!"
==========
Here I sit in stinking va****
Some son of a ***** used all the paper
The bus is comming
I cannot linger
So pucker up asshole here comes the finger
==========
Q: How can you tell that the letter you received came from a leper
colony?
A: Because there is a tongue stuck to the stamp.
Daffynition: Tampon - a beaver dam.
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