Everybody who has a dog calls it something like "Rover" or "Spot" or
"Bruno" But I thought I'd call my dog "Sex."
Now my dog, Sex, has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city
hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I would like a license for
Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one too". Then I said, "But this is a
dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't
understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said that I must
have been quite a kid.
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with us. I
told the hotel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a
special room for Sex. He said that every room in the hotel was for sex. So
I finally said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The
clerk said, "Me too."
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the
dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there
looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He
told me that I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't
understand," I told him, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." HE called me a
show-off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the
dog. I told the judge, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The
judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left
me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran away. I spent hours looking for him around town. A cop
came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at four
o'clock in the morning?" I told him, "I'm looking for Sex."
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