(This was a reply to an internal memo at work, which included brief
descriptions of events taking place nearby. One of these was "Disney's
Princesses On Ice", and it drew the following reply.)
Mr. ---:
While your house re****ts are normally punctual, accurate, scintillating
little things I must take umbrage with your house re****t of 16 November,
where you refer to _Disney On Ice_ with the phrase "the magical goodness
of Disney magic". I shall pass over the redundant nature of this phrasing
in silence, but must point out that _Disney On Ice_ is hardly the "magical
goodness" you speak of. It is a stinging horror. It is but one arm, one
appendage, one fear-inducing tentacle of a multinational cor****ate Cthulhu
plying upon the dreams and fears of innocent young minds for its own
dark-green slimy profit. It is a terror incarnate, its "leader" a
six-foot-tall grinning rat, its Cyclopean works luring thousands of
innocent children to its cultlike "amusements" and its workers upon this
Earth wearing oversized false heads - daunting animal-like masks! - to
****eld the eyes of the unsuspecting from the soulless horrors doubtless
beneath. Even their nefarious founder - Walt, the _true_ "Disney On Ice" -
by his own hideous will has been encased in freezing, unending cold in
hopes that future generations of his minions may someday reanimate him.
There is no "magical goodness" here, Mr. ---. There is only a terror and a
madness beyond human comprehension, reaching, _reaching_ toward the living
world, devouring reason, leaving only darkness and savage creeping terror
in its wake.
....That said, you're right about _Mulan_.
--
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