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Comedy > Jewish Humor > NJJF: Biggest T...
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NJJF: Biggest Threat to English

by "Harry Farkas" <hfarkas@[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Dec 10, 2007 at 03:08 PM

Biggest Threat to English

I have received many emails warning me that Spanish is threatening English

as our national language. I beg to differ. The biggest threat I see to 
English is a little-known language called Republicanese.

Republicanese is insidious. It uses the same alphabet and the same words
as 
English, but in use, Republicanese often means the exact opposite of what 
the same words may mean in English.

For example, if a Republicanese speaker says, "We are working to bring 
democracy to Iraq" what he or she is actually saying is "Some of my 
cor****ate buddies need some pocket cash so let's start a war".

When a Republicanese speaker says, "I sup****t family values", what he
means 
in English is "Meet me in five minutes in the third stall to the left".

Additional well-known Republicanese statements and their English 
translations include:

Republicanese:The Iraqis have weapons of mass destruction.
English: The Iraqis have no weapons of mass destruction.

Republicanese: We sup****t diversity and the free exchange of ideas.
English: We are a Christian nation and the Bible is our only guide.

Republicanese: The war in Iraq is going well.
English: We are getting our ***** kicked.

Republicanese: We sup****t our fighting men and women and all our veterans.
English: We sup****t our fighting men and women and all our veterans as
long 
as it doesn't cost us anything and our kids don't have to go.

Republicanese: We sup****t the Constitution.
English: We sup****t the Constitution as long as it doesn't conflict with 
what we actually believe or what our evangelical friends want.

Republicanese: Barack Obama does not have the experience to be president.
English: Good God, man, the guy is BLACK!

Republicanese: We sup****t the separation of church and state.
English: Need some abstinence education funding?

Republicanese: I did not have *** with that woman
Oops, that was Democratese.......

 --
Harry Farkas
***************
--
Harry Farkas
***************
 




 1 Posts in Topic:
NJJF: Biggest Threat to English
"Harry Farkas"   2007-12-10 15:08:39 

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