RHJ Monthly Posting
Contents:
1. Charter
2. FAQ
3. Copyright FAQ
4. Glossary of some Hebrew and Yiddish words
5. Netiquette
6. Server problems - Is your post being seen by anyone but you?
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CHARTER: rec.humor.jewish
The Jewish people have always been able to laugh at their lives and
culture.
Rec.Humor.Jewish, is for anyone who wants to share and discuss humor,
primarily humor as it pertains to Jews, their culture, Israel, and the
Jewish religion. Non-Jewish humor will also be accepted. The whole idea is
to make people laugh!
A. Unacceptable postings: (Postings *must* follow these guidelines. Posts
which do not will be returned to the sender with a copy of the charter.)
1.) Anti-Semitic - i.e. those which call for genocide and violence against
Jews, and derogatory or false characterizations which would tend to
perpetuate anti-Semitism.
2.) Revisionist - i.e. those which deny the Holocaust.
3.) Postings from individuals and/or groups who, in submissions to RHJ,
have
openly advocated harm against the Jewish people.
4.) Website announcements which are not related to Judaism, except for
website announcements for "not Jewish, just funny" (NJJF) humor, unless
those websites feature anti-Semitic "humor".
5.) Excessively Crossposted Articles - articles posted at the same time to
four or more newsgroups.
6.) Trolls, spam, off-topic or offensive posts - Posts which, in the
moderator's judgement, would have the primary effect of disrupting the
newsgroup.
7.) Personal messages - posts which contain comments directed at an
individual and would be best if communicated directly to him/her.
8.) Threads which are no longer on topic as determined by the board of
moderators. Once a thread or subject has been discontinued, future
postings
to the thread will be rejected. The poster(s) will be encouraged to move
continued discussion to a more appropriate newsgroup or private email.
9.) Conversionists - Posts which offer or promote conversion to another
religion. This would also include posts that promote so-called "Messianic
Judaism" or "Hebraic Christianity".
10.) Any of the following: Large binaries; posts over 400 lines long, or
more than 75 characters per line of original text, or those with
executable
or macro attachments; ROT13 encoded; damaged headers, and/or other
non-standard formats which are incompatible with the RHJ robo- moderator
and/or most newsreaders. PGP-type signatures would be permitted.
11.) Postings with explicit ***ual content (XXX-rated), or which imply
access to explicit ***ual content are unacceptable.
12.) Submissions that are exact duplicates (other than header, sig,
formatting) of posts submitted within the past 2 days.
13.) The official lingua franca of RHJ is English. Posts submitted in
languages other than English will not be accepted, except as outlined in
"General Behavior" (below).
14.) Commercial policy: We do not accept commercial posts, advertisements,
announcements and/or endorsements for profit or non-profit endeavours,
except as listed as acceptable in our "intros and sigs" policy. We also do
not accept posts that direct people to a site if the act of visiting the
site results in payment to the site-owner or a third party. However, we
will
accept submissions that offer links to non-commercial Jewish humor sites,
subject to the other items of our charter. We review this policy on an
as-needed basis. We will not post messages discussing this policy, but
your
comments via email are welcome. Please send them to
<RHJ-board@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>.
15.) Copyrighted works: (see RHJ's copyright FAQ). Copyrighted materials
will be rejected. Please do not submit copyrighted materials or ****tions
thereof.
16.) Intros and Sigs: Commercial intros are NOT permitted. Commercial sigs
ARE permitted to a maximum of 4 lines or 320 characters (whichever is
less),
exclusive of one divider line, provided that the submission is part of an
on-topic post. Non-commercial intros and sigs ARE permitted. Intros are
limited to a maximum of three lines or 240 characters (whichever comes
first), exclusive of divider lines. Non-commercial footers may not exceed
20
lines.
B. General Behavior: (All postings are *encouraged* to follow these
guidelines. Postings which fail to follow these guidelines will be
forwarded
a copy of the FAQ and charter, but the message *will* be still be posted.)
1.) Posters are expected to maintain a basic tone of civility.
2.) Posters should not make derogatory remarks about religious practices
or
the lack of them.
3.) Posters should refrain from making derogatory comments about other
religious, racial, or ethnic groups.
4.) Identifying Tags: Posters of the following categories are encouraged
to
use the following tags:
NJJF - Not Jewish just funny
NFJJ - Not funny, just Jewish
MAY-OFFEND - May contain offensive language or reference
ANNOUNCE - Announcement from the board of RHJ. For board use only.
INFO - announcements from others than the board (not in current use)
ADVERT - Non-Profit Advertisement (not in current use)
META - discussions of RHJ policy (not in current use)
If posters fail to use these tags, the moderator(s) reserve the right to
insert them without prior consent. Additional tags may be created should
the
need arise.
5.) Use of languages other than English: Use of Hebrew, Yiddish, or other
Jewish Dias****a languages is acceptable if a translation is provided.
Hebrew
and Yiddish in common usage (such as words in prayers and common Jewish
conversation), particularly words appearing in our NG's glossary, are
acceptable without an accompanying translation. However, if there is no
translation provided, it is up to the moderator to determine whether the
words are "in common usage", and we reserve the right to reject posts
which
we cannot understand.
6.) Although HTML posts are currently accepted, we urge posters to refrain
from using HTML encoding. Using HTML is considered bad netiquette.
C. Rejected Messages and Appeals
The Board of Moderators will try to make sure that actions listed above
will
not be applied to users who commit infractions inadvertently or because
they
have misunderstood our policies.
A poster whose post has been rejected or whose name has been placed on the
auto-reject list has the right to appeal to the moderators of this
newsgroup. The poster may then e-mail the moderator(s) at the appeals
address (see below). The decision of the moderators is final.
D. Moderation Policy
The moderation of RHJ combines robo-moderation and a moderation panel to
set
standards for civil discourse and provide guidance for newcomers, but also
allow express posting. The group will provide a sup****tive atmosphere for
newcomers to RHJ and/or Usenet by issuing periodic postings listing the
groups charter and posting guidelines.
The robo-moderator searches every submission to rec.humor.jewish for
certain
trigger words, forwarding any submissions containing these trigger words
to
the panel of human moderators for review. The list of trigger words is
maintained by the moderators, who add words as needed.
Submissions from people on the express poster list are scanned for trigger
words, as described above. Any messages including such trigger words will
be
referred to a moderator. All other posts from express posters will be
accepted and posted by the robo-moderator without human review.
Submissions from those not on the express poster list which clearly fall
into one of the categories referenced in the Charter under "unacceptable
postings" will be automatically rejected. A note will be sent to the
author
(or apparent author) including the rejected post and explaining the
reason(s) for rejection. All other submissions from non-express posters
will
be referred to the moderation queue.
Posters can get on the express posting list by posting to the group; their
posts will be reviewed by the moderation panel, and after four acceptable
posts, *and* upon request, *and* upon approval of the board, they will be
placed on the express posting list and sent a notification of this change
in
status. The board reserves the right to revoke express posting status if
submissions are found to violate RHJ's charter.
If a moderator accepts the article, it is posted to the newsgroup. If the
moderator feels the article should be rejected, that moderator writes a
comment explaining why and notifies the sender of the rejection. Any
moderator who is unsure about the appropriateness of a post may poll the
moderation board for additional opinions.
The number of active moderators in the moderation panel is currently six.
Additional moderators may be recruited from the reader****p as demand
warrants. If a moderator wants to retire from the moderation panel, he or
she agrees to make a public statement at least one month prior to
retirement
so that a replacement moderator may be found. When vacancies occur, anyone
may volunteer to become a moderator or advisor with the consent of more
than
half of the current moderation panel. Moderators or advisors may be
removed
by a vote of two-thirds of the moderation panel. Moderators may request to
be put on inactive status due to personal demands. If this inactive status
exceeds six months, the moderator position will be considered vacant, and
a
replacement may be sought.
E. Disclaimer
- The moderators of this newsgroup are not responsible for truthfulness or
legality of any of the posts.
- The approval of a post by a moderator is NOT an endorsement by the
moderator or board.
- Posters assume full responsibility for the content of their posts.
- Readers using information that appears in the newsgroup do so at their
own
risk.
- Posters agree that by posting items to this newsgroup they indemnify and
hold harmless the directors and service providers.
- The copyright for all posts remains with the poster, the poster's
source,
in the public domain, or as appropriate.
F. How to Contact RHJ:
For rejection appeals: rhj-board@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
general questions: rhj-board@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
your ISP doesn't carry RHJ: rhj-board@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
contact address: rhj-admin@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
submission address: RHJ@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
12/17/00
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RHJ's FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)
*Background
Welcome to Rec.Jewish.Humor, the home for Jewish humor on the Usenet! RHJ
is
for anyone who wants to share and discuss humor, primarily humor as it
pertains to Jews, their culture, Israel, and the Jewish religion.
Non-Jewish
humor will also be accepted. The whole idea is to make people laugh!
*How do I post?
Rec.humor.Jewish is a moderated newsgroup. This means no one may post to
it
without the assistance of the moderation team and robo-moderator. It is
moderated to keep it true to its charter. The charter specifies the focus
of
newsgroup is Jewish Humor. We also accept non-Jewish humor and the
discussion of humor.
*What should I do before I post?
Users are strongly encouraged to read the informational postings in the
newsgroup news.announce.newusers to familiarize themselves with usenet. It
is also customary to "lurk" (view without posting) for a short period to
get
an idea as to what's appropriate in the group.
*Do I need to put a "tag" on my joke?
Tags help the readers choose what to read or filter out. Posters are
requested to use tags and descriptive subject lines when posting the types
of material listed. The moderators may insert tags when appropriate. Put
them in the beginning of the subject line (just the all-caps part).
The following tags are in use in RHJ
NJJF - Not Jewish Just Funny
NFJJ - Not funny, just Jewish
MAY-OFFEND - May contain offensive language
ANNOUNCE - Announcement from the moderators
*Why don't you allow only Jewish humor?
It's difficult to judge what makes a joke "Jewish". Is it that the names
of
the characters are Jewish-sounding -- or that the characters are engaged
in
a Jewish custom? Rather than force posters to go thru the charade of
"Jewi****zing" generic jokes or creating the "Joke Police", the moderators
encourage mostly Jewish jokes to be posted. But any joke will be accepted
as
long as the post follows our charter.
*Problems, rejections, appeals:
The moderators are a group of dedicated volunteers. We approve whatever
meets the criteria as stated in our charter. We are human and do make
mistakes. If you feel we have erred, please let us know *nicely*.
Each moderator works at his or her own pace. Just because you haven't seen
it, don't assume it wasn't posted. It may have been posted and it hasn't
propagated back to your site yet. On Shabbat and Jewish holidays, the
delay
can be 3-4 days. You will be notified if your submission was rejected.
If you have posted and do not see your article within a week, instead of
resubmitting, email us asking about its status. All submitted posted
receive an acknowledgement (ack) when our robo-moderator receives them. If
you haven't received an ack within a day, we haven't received your post!
The
net is not 100% efficient and not all articles make it to all sites. We're
not 100% efficient either, and on occasion, we'll lose a file or delete
something by accident.
NEW FAQ ITEM:
Can I use a bogus address like nospam@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
or foo@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
? Using a
"common" bogus address is a really bad idea, as just about all these are
now
in ISPs' spam filters and are deleted before we even see them. If you use
a
bogus address, be creative -- or just munge your own address.
*A post of mine was rejected, but I think it should have been posted. How
do I appeal this?
(1.) Please see our charter for a list of acceptable/unacceptable
behavior.(2.) If you believe that it is within the charter, email the
*original post* with a brief explanation to the board of moderators to the
address below.
*How do I contact the moderators?
For policy matters and rejection appeals: rhj-board@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
submissions, feel free to use our email posting address:
rhj@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
more information: www.philsego.com/rhj/index.html
For *extremely* technical problems, use: rhj-admin@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
the moderators the "funny filter?"
No. As you can see from the postings, we post humor and the discussion of
humor, mostly Jewish. By sending a submission to a moderated newsgroup,
your
are acknowledging that real people (the moderators) will be reviewing it
prior to posting. Our goal is, of course, to approve posts, not reject
them.
But if you don't like this arrangement, don't post to this newsgroup.
There
are over 60,000 newsgroups; only a handful are moderated.
*What would cause my post to be rejected: (see the charter for more
information)
Anti-Semitism
Any flame, harassment, attack of a poster or the moderators. If you
wish to tell someone of your disapproval, do so privately.
Offtopic material
Discussions about Jewish laws and practice which would be more
appropriate for soc.culture.jewish.moderated or another NG.
Posting to an officially ended thread
Spam
Excessive crossposting
Posts technically non-compliant with our software
***ually explicit material
Trolls
Copyright violations
Commercial advertisements
Why do we sometimes use the American spelling "humor" and sometimes the
UK/Canadian spelling "humour"?
Because some of the moderators are Canadian and some are American. We
didn't
want start a war, so we adopted the policy of not correcting the others'
spelling. But the group is spelled rec.HUMOR.jewish.
Who are the moderators?
There are five of us, all dedicated volunteers, who try our best to make
you - the participants - laugh! We read posts, answer questions, and along
with RHJ's technical wizard, divvy up the huge sums we make on this
venture.
(Whaddaya mean they post for free? Where's the profit in that?!?).
Rev. 12/10/2003
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RHJ's Copyright FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions)
The FAQ provided by RHJ is simply an overview of some of your
responsibilities under the most basic copyright laws, and provided to
clear
up common misconceptions. THIS POST IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE. If you want legal
advice on copyright matters, consult a copyright attorney.
*Can I post copyrighted material?
No, do not post copyrighted material. That means that you should not buy a
Jewish humor book, type in the jokes, and post them, nor should you post
the
lyrics to a song. Copyright means that, generally speaking, only the
author
or copyright holder has the right to copy it.
*What are examples of items that are copyrighted?
- Newspaper articles and the text of radio and TV broadcasts.
- Movie dialogs
- Song lyrics
- Joke compilations
- Works from books no longer in print
- Modern translations of ancient texts
- Books, magazines, pamphlets
- Articles from other websites
- Any other original work, published, printed, recorded, or posted to the
web/usenet.
*What about really old material (over 100 years)?
Although really old material is most likely unprotected, there may be
underlying trademarks or other protections that you may not be aware of.
For
example, you cannot copy a *newly* translated story from a 100-year-old
book, as the translation would be copyrighted.
*Can't I post under Fair Use?
Many people wrongly think that "fair use" applies if only a certain
percentage of the do***ent is used, or if they will not profit from it. In
fact, there are many situations in which these kinds of uses are clear
violations of copyright law. "Fair Use" Laws permit the use of ****tions of
copyrighted text only for very specific purposes under very specific
situations. Unless you are deeply familiar with applicable Fair Use
provisions, don't feel that you will be covered under Fair Use laws.
*Copyright facts:
- Copyright applies whether or not the circle-C or the word "copyright"
appears.
- Simply giving credit or referencing the copyright is not a legal way to
distribute a copyrighted work.
- Copyright law (under the Berne Convention) applies throughout most of
the
world (in one form or another). You should not copy items published in
another country believing that you are "immune".
- If you reproduce a copyrighted work without specific permission, you
have
violated copyright law.
- If it's been floating around the net, or you found it on the web, the
copyright status is not changed. Its common availability does not place it
in the public domain.
- There is no exemption if you give credit to the copyright holder, if you
acknowledge the copyright, or whether or not you charge for the
reproduction.
- Although a minor transgression would most likely be dealt with gently by
the copyright holder, they are under no obligation to do so. Violators of
copyright laws can potentially face civil and/or criminal charges.
However, do note that many Jewish humor compendia are compilations of
jokes
in circulation. Once a joke is in circulation, publi****ng it does not give
the "author" copyright protection for all the jokes. The author has only a
"compilation copyright" preventing anyone from copying the work,
significant
subset, or superset.
An excellent synopsis of copyright is at Brad Templeton's site:
http://www.templetons.com/brad/copymyths.html
Comments about this post should be sent to:
rhj-board@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
12/1/07
###
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Glossary of Hebrew, Yiddish, and other words and abbreviations
Glossary © Copyright l999-2006, RHJ Board of Moderators, all rights
reserved. Please see the note at the end of this post for additional
copyright information.
Some of the words below are Hebrew, some are Yiddish. Many are both. Some
of
the Hebrew is in Ashkenic, some is Sephardic, some are in both.
abba , father, also a cult singing group from the 1970s
a biseleh - a very little
a broch! - Oh hell! Damn it!
a broch tsu mir! - Oy! I've been cursed.
a chazer bleibt a chazer! - A pig remains a pig!
a dank - thanks, thank you
a deigeh hob ich? - Is it my worry?
a feier zol im trefen - He should burn up!
a gezunt dahf dein kop! - Good health to you!
A"H - (Alav (Male), Aleha (Female) Hashalom) Peace
be upon him/her, like the English "late"
ahf tsores - in trouble
aidel - cultured
aliya - return to Israel, being called to the Torah, literally "going
upwards"
alter kucker - old person, very derogatory
Am Yisroel - The people of Israel (all Jews).
azoy? - really?
bagels - Invented in mythical Chelm, nothing like the doughy globs sold in
North
American supermarkets/hard circular roll with a hole in the center.
balebatisheh yiden - Respectable Jews of good substance and standing.
balebosteh - housewife/hostess/capable homemaker/matriach
balnes - miracle worker
balshem - Term applied to a faith healer/performer of miracles.
Bar Mitzvah - A boy who, on completion of his l3th year, accepts the
responsibility of fulfilling the religious law/also the celebration
of
this event (of becoming a man).
bas - daughter
Bas/Bat Mitzvah - A girl who has reached the age when she is required
to fulfill certain mitsvos (commands, obligations).
ben zona - Son of a prostitute.
benching - saying grace after a meal
bialys - like bagels, more gluten flour
Birkat hamazon - grace after a meal
blintses/blintzes - crepes filled with cheese and perhaps fruit
bobbeh/bubbee - grandmother
bocher - bachelor/unmarried man/young man
borsht - beet or cabbage soup
boychik - young boy
brech a fus - break a leg
bris or brit - cir***cision of Jewish male
brocha - a prayer
bupkas - (Lit "beans") nothing
challah - Sabbath twists of egg-yolk colored bread/made in a variety of
shapes for various holidays.
chavurah , group of friends, prayer group
Chassid - a very orthodox Jew who dresses in a particular kind of black
suit and black hat with a black yarmulke underneath the hat.
Chassidism
was founded in the Pale in the 1700s by the Baal Shem Tov.
Chazen - Cantor
chazer/chazzer - pig
chazerai - junk (lit. "pig stuff")/unpalatable/rotten
chochem - wise man (slang) - a wise guy
chosser daieh - feeble-minded
chozer bitshuvah - a Jew who has become religious
chupeh - bridal canopy/ Its 4 poles signify the 4 corners of the world,
and a cloth "roof", sometimes blue, symbolic of the heavens.
chutzpah - audacity/utter nerve
Danken G-t! - Thank G-d!
daven - pray
Dershtikt zolstu verem! - You should choke on it!
draikop - Scatterbrain; one who tends to confuse you; one who connives
and twists the facts to serve his own purpose.
Drai zich! - Keep moving!
drek - trash/manure or excrement
Drek ahf a shpendel! - As unim****tant as dung on a piece of wood!
Du bis a Yid? Gey gezunt! - Are you Jewish? Go in good health!
dumkop - dumbell/dunce
dybbuk - Soul condemned to wander for a time in this world because of
its sins. The dybbuk seeks refuge in the body of some pious person over
whom the demons have no power. The dybbuk is a Cabalistic conception.
ech - A groan/a disparaging exclamation.
Ei, gut - Great! Just great!
einhoreh - evil eye
eizel - fool/dope
El Al Airlines - 'to the sky'/Israel's national airline
emah - mother
Eretz Yisroel - The land of Israel.
Er frest vi a ferd - He eats like a horse.
es/essen - eat
es vet zich oys-hailen far der chasseneh: It will heal in time for the
wedding. (Told even to a child when s/he gets hurt. The implication is
that marriage is a cure-all).
fahrblunget - mixed up
faigeleh - little bird/slang for homo***ual, sometimes a woman's name.
famisht - confused
fardeiget - distressed/worried/anxiety
farfel - noodle dough, grated or chopped into barley sized grains
fargenigen - pleasure
farkuckt - dungy, sh*tty
farmatert - tired
farmisht - mixed up emotionally/befuddled
Farshtaist? - You understand?
farshtunken - smells bad, stinky
far-tshadikt - confused, bewildered
flai****k/flai****dik - Meat or meat ingredients (must not be eaten at the
same meal with dairy foods).
Gai avek! - Go away!
gai gezunterhait - bon voyage/good-by
Gai plats! - Go split your guts!
ganef - crook/thief/burglar/swindler
gantser k'nacker! - Big shot!
gantser mentsh/mench - manly/a whole man/a complete man
gatkes - long winter underwear
gebrenteh tsores - utter misery
gefilte fish - "Stuffed" fish, usually made of chopped fish, onions
and seasoning, and cooked in salt water.
Gey mit ayn fuss! - Break a leg!
gelt - money
gelt gait tzu gelt - money goes to money
Genug iz genug! - Enough is enough!
geshmak - tasty/delicious
get - divorce
gezunterhait - in good health
G-d - The 'o' is left out for religious reasons.
goilem - dull person/clumsy and sluggish/mechanical/robot/mythical
person made of mud
gornisht - nothing
goy - non-Jewish person
goyem - plural of 'goy'
goyish/goyisha - not Jewish
gribenes - small crisp pieces left from rendered poultry fat or
skin, fried
Gut Shabbes! - Good Sabbath!
Gut yontev! - Good holiday!
Haddasah - world-wide Women's Jewish organization
Haftorah - The weekly reading from the Biblical Prophets.
haken a tsheinik - [lit: banging a teapot]. Someone who startles, jars,
annoys by repeated intrusive speech or action. Also can mean boring,
long-winded and annoying conversation, sleep-inducing,
understimulating, hard to keep paying attention.
Halevei! - Would that it came true!
Ha Motzi - prayer giving thanks for food (bread) before eating
Hashem - name for G-d. (lit. "the name")
haverah - prayer group
ich fargessen - I forgot
Ich hob in drerd! - To hell with it!
ipish - bad odor/stink
Kaddish - a prayer praising G-d, which separates sections of the
service. May also refer to the Mourners' kaddish which is basically
the same prayer/in praise of and submission to the will of G-d. The
prayer is in Aramaic.
kalah - bride
kemfer - fighter (usually for a cause)
kiddish - blessing over wine on the eve of the Sabbath or Festivals
kipa/yarmelke - skull cap
kishka - stuffed derma
kitsel - tickle klaperkeh - talkative woman
klemt beim hartz - clutches at my heartstrings
klotz/klutz - ungraceful, awkward, clumsy person
k'naidel - round dumplings usually made of matzoh meal and cooked in
soup
knishes - dumplings filled with potato, meat, liver or barley
kolboynik - know it all
kosher - food that meets rules of Jewish dietary laws
kugel - casserole dish or baked desert
kvetch - complain
lamden - scholar, learned man
latke - Heaven on earth... potato pancakes!
Le'chaim! - To life!
levevah - plural for latke
Lig in drerd! - Get lost! Drop dead!
Lo b'shamayim hi - The Torah is not in heaven.
loch in kop - hole in the head
lokshen - noodles/pasta
lox - smoked salmon
macher - A big shot/man with contacts
maidel - girl
mamzer - bastard
mazel - luck
mazel tov - congratulations
mechitzoh - the physical barrier that separates men and women in
orthodox synagogues
mechiah , a great feeling, a relief, like taking off your shoes after
an all-day hike.
mench - a nice gentleman, good person
meshuga - crazy
mezuzah , The case affixed to the right side of the doorway of Jewish
homes containing a small ****tion of Deuteronomy in 22 lines,
handwritten on parchment.
mies - ugly
mies un mos - tedious/obnoxious
mikveh - ritual cleansing bath
milchiks - All dairy foods and cutlery, dishes and cooking utensils
used exclusively for dairy foods according to Jewish ritual
regulations.
minyan - A group of at least l0 persons gathered to pray.
mishegas - craziness
mishpocheh - family/relatives
miskayt - ugly
mitzvah (mitsveh/Yiddish) - good deed
Mohel - The individual who performs the cir***cision of a Jewish male.
mumcheh - expert
naches - Joy! Gratification, especially from children.
narishkeit - foolishness
nebish - a nerd!
neshemah - soul
neshomeleh - sweetheart/darling/sweet soul
Nishtu gedacht! - It shouldn't happen!/G-d forbid! (Lit., May we be
saved from it! [sad event])
nishtgutnick - no good person
nishtikeit - A nobody!
Nu? - So? Well?
****je - annoying person, badgerer
****nik - pesty nagger, a bore, obnoxious person
och! - Exclamation of surprise, dismay or disapproval.
Oi vai iz mir! - Woe is me!
oleh chadash - new immigrant to Israel, (olim chada****m pl.)
ongetrunken - drunk
opgeflickt - Done in! Suckered! (Lit., plucked out like a chicken)
oy - denotes disgust, pain, astonishment or rapture
oysgehorevet - exhausted
Pesach - Passover
petseleh - little ***** (affectionately applied to infant boy)
Peyot or Peyos - long full "sideburns" because of the commandment
not to trim the corners of your beard. Often the peyot are curled.
pisher - very young boy/can be an insult
pishteppel - pee pot
pletzels - usually onion-flavored flat breads
plotz - fall over in despair
potch - a little slap
proster oilem - common people
pupik - belly button
pushkeh - poor box (In every traditional Jewish home, odd coins are put
in this, particularly on Friday afternoon before the Sabbath begins;
money is used for the sup****t of philanthropic and educational
institutions).
Rachov Tsimtsim - Sesame Street
Rav - Rabbi/religious leader of the community.
Reb - Title given to a learned and respected man.
Rebiniu - Term of endearment for a Rabbi.
Rebitzin - Rabbi's wife
rasheh - mean, evil person
Rosh Hashana/Yom Kippur - Jewish High Holy Days
Shabbas goy - Someone doing the dirty work for others. (Lit.,
Gentile doing work for a Jew on Sabbath)
shmaltz , fat
schmaltzy - sentimental/corny
schmuck - not a nice person/also male genitalia (literal)
schvitz - perspire
Shabbot/Shabbas - The Jewish sabbath.
shadchen - matchmaker or marriage broker
shainkeit - beauty
shammas - The guardian of the Synagogue
shanda - outrage or shame i.e. 'that's a shame'
shaygitz - non Jewish man (pl. shkootzim)
shayna - pretty (f.) (shayn m.)
shepleffel - spatula
****keh - drunk
****kseh - - Non-Jewish female (also used to imply a wild or impious
Jewish female).
****mmel - mould
****n men , name (lit: the 2 letters which spell the word "name"
in Hebrew)
****va - mourning period of 7 days observed by family/friends of
deceased. (Also the Hindu god of destruction. Coincidence?)
shlemil - a fool/always screwing up
shlep - carry, drag
shlimazel - luckless person/incompetent person/one who has
perpetual bad luck
shmaltz - fat or greese/flattery(slang)/to sweet talk
shmata - rag, old clothing
shmear - bribe
shmootz - dirt
shmootzik - dirty
shnorrer - A beggar who makes pretensions to respectability; moocher; a
parasite, but always with resourcefulness in getting money from others
as though it was his own.
Shoah - the holocaust
shpilkes - Lit. needles - nervousness, hyperactivity
shtetl - small Jewish village
shtick - routine i.e. Seinfeld has a good shtick
strudel - sweet cake made of paper-thin dough rolled up with various
fillings (usually fruit and nuts) and baked
shvitz bod - steam bath
shtup - push, shove/vulgar for ***ual intercourse
shul/shule - synagogue
shvais - perspiration (noun)
shvitz - sweat
siddur - prayer book
shtreimel - a black fur hat worn by Chassid men.
szhlob/zhlub - moron
tallis/tallit - prayer shawl
Tanach - the whole Bible
tanta - aunt
tashlikh/tashlich - Ceremony of the casting off of sins on
Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year.
tateleh - little darling
tefillin - Leather cubes containing scriptural texts inscribed on
parchment; they are a sign of the covenant between God and Israel.
Worn during morning prayers by males over thirteen years old.
tei-yerinkeh - sweetheart/dearest
toches-lecker - A person who will do anything to gain favor/a*s kisser!
toochie/toches - buttocks, behind, fanny
Torah - The 5 books of Moses (Genesis, Exodus, Levitucus,
Deuteronomy, Numbers).
traif - not kosher
tsheinik , see haken a tsheinik
tsooris/tsuris - troubles/misery
tut mir hanoeh - it gives me pleasure (also used sarcastically)
tut vai dos harats - heartbroken
tzimmes - a carrot based side dish, a big deal
um-be-rufen - unqualified, uncalled for/G-d forbid/a deprecation to
ward off evil
utz - to goad/to needle
Vat? - What?
Ve gates - How goes?
vey/vai - woe, pain; usually appears as "oy vey"
yarmulke - skull cap, kipah
yartzeit - Anniversary of the day of death of parents or other
relatives/yearly remembrance of the dead.
yenta - busybody/one who gossips
ye****va - religious school
Yid , Jew (pl. Yiddn)
yizkor - Prayer in commemoration of the dead.
Yom Tov (H), Yuntif (Y)- holiday
Z"L - Zichrono Livrocho, Of blessed memory, like the English "late"
zaftik - pleasantly plump and pretty/well-stacked/sensuous looking
zayde/zaide - grandfather
zei mir gezunt - Be well!
zetz - a slap
zonah - prostitute
This glossary was created by RHJ moderator Paula Taft, a''h, who passed
away
on September 25, 1999 (15 Tishrei 5760). Her memory lives on with those
who
were fortunate in being her friends.
Glossary © Copyright l999-2006, RHJ Board of Moderators, all rights
reserved under USA, Canadian, and International copyright laws.
This glossary is not in the public domain.
+++++++++++++++++++++++ 5 +++++++++++++++++++++++++
RHJ's Netiquette Guide
Moderated groups and unmoderated groups have expected social behavior.
This
was written to help you understand RHJ's rules or behavior, known as
"netiquette".
*Post on topic
RHJ is for the humor and the discussion of humor, mostly Jewish. This
newsgroup (NG) is very specific about what subjects are and are not
appropriate, and posting an irrelevant message is considered rude. If a
given subject begins to meander from RHJ's focus, move the discussion to
another group or to private email. Keeping on topic also means refraining
from launching personal attacks against readers or the moderators of the
newsgroup. Furthermore, participation in or attempts to incite a flame war
is also considered a violation of RHJ's netiquette.
*Avoid lengthy intros or sigs
Intros and lengthy sigs are discouraged from RHJ. While funny the first
time, it can result in people skipping your post. Think of it like this...
imagine how tedious it would be if *every* comment someone made in a live
conversation were prefaced with a lengthy introduction and ended with a
lengthy sig?
*Think before you speak (lurk before you post)
If you don't, the readers will probably think you are stupid and/or
thoughtless, not to mention all kinds of other bad things. When you first
enter RHJ, read a few days worth of posts. Get a sense of who the people
are. Look to see if a joke you're about to post has just been posted by
someone else. Then go ahead and post.
*Respect the culture
Most posters to newsgroups look down on those with poor manners. Always be
civil, don't use profanity. Don't be lewd, abrasive, argumentative, or
rude.
*Look your best
Without visual cues, people will view your grammar, spelling, and
punctuation just as people view your attire and cleanliness. Be sure your
text is clear and logical. It's possible to write a paragraph that
contains
no errors in grammar or spelling, but still makes no sense. That's why
many
people prefer to compose offline. If you have language difficulties,
compose
offline and use your word processor's spell/grammar checker. If English is
not your first language, do your best. Other posters will respect your
efforts.
*Don't use obscure "insider" abbreviations or obscure smilies.
Most people know:
IMHO - in my humble opinion
AFAIK - as far as I know
LOL - laughing out loud
ROTFL - rolling on the floor laughing
OT - off topic
BTW -- by the way
IIRC -- if I remember correctly
FWIW -- for what it's worth
*Don't excessively crosspost:
Crossposting to additional newsgroups is sometimes seen as improper. RHJ
accepts a limit of 4 crossposts, and messages cannot be crossposted to
other
moderated NGs (for technical reasons).
*Don't post HTML, images, movies, audio or binaries
Encoded binaries (also known as UUENCODED files) are not permitted in RHJ.
Although HTML files are permitted in RHJ, many people will not be able to
read your post. For this reason, posting in HTML is discouraged. If your
HTML references a non-included binary, it will be rejected (for technical
reasons). Sometimes we will reject highly formatted HTML posts because we
simply cannot read them.
*Should you respond to the group or directly to the author?
If you've read enough threads, you've already learned how annoying it is
to
go through "Me Too" posts. A "Me Too" is a post that says "I agree with
what
the other guy said" and otherwise does not add to the content. Other posts
in this category are "very funny" and "post more jokes". A good thread
should read like a thoughtful discussion. If you like someone else's post,
compliment them via private email.
*Don't post personal messages.
If you have a message for one poster, use private email.
*What if their address is bogus or munged?
Some people do not want to get unsolicited email and therefore put a spam
blocker in their address. This may look like this "David@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
"
In
most cases, just removing the nospam will provide you with the correct
address. Some others deliberately provide bogus addresses. This can be for
a
variety of reasons, perhaps they are crypto-Jews, perhaps they are not
permitted to receive email (at work, for example). Even if this is the
case,
posting personal messages is still a violation of netiquette; having a
bogus
address is not.
*Is this post legal?
Breaking the law is bad netiquette If you're tempted to do something
that's
illegal, chances are it's also bad netiquette. This applies to copyright,
forgery, slander, defamation, threats of violence, and advocating
violence.
*Forwarding a joke you got via email
It is wrong to post someone else's email address to the Usenet. Giving
credit to your source (Joke from Mary M in Rochester) is good form - but
not
their whole address.
*Plagiarism is wrong
If you pass along someone else's post as your own, you are plagiarizing.
Briefly credit your source. For example "sent to me by IrvingT". Don't
list
their entire email address unless they've posted it to this newsgroup (see
above). If someone sends you an unattributed lengthy and beautifully
written
'column', consider doing a quick web search before posting it. You may
find
that it was written by Dave Barry, Ellen Goodman, or another columnist,
and
has copyright protection. Read our copyright FAQ for information about
passing along copyrighted posts.
Respect others' religious beliefs and culture
Recognize that others have religious beliefs that may differ from yours.
Conversion activity is absolutely prohibited. Don't take other to task for
not knowing certain aspects of Jewish law. Do feel free to politely
enlighten them and the other readers of RHJ.
English is the lingua franca of RHJ
Post in English. Use Yiddish, Hebrew, Ladino or another Jewish Dias****a
language if you provide translations or the words appear in the RHJ
Glossary
(posted weekly'ish and available at our website).
Don't use ALL CAPS
All-caps translates as SHOUTING.
Adhere to the same high standards (or higher) of behavior online that you
follow in real life.
In real life, most people are fairly polite and law abiding. The same
rules
of behavior are expected in RHJ.
Don't swear
The Usenet is not your personal toilet. Many people are offended by
swearing. If you feel that cursing in some form is required, it's
preferable
to use amusing euphemisms like "effing" and "sugar." You may also use the
classic asterisk filler -- for example, s***. And everyone will know
exactly
what you mean.
Don't use racial, ethnic, or gender slurs
Use of slurs needlessly offends people - whether or not they're a member
of
the group you've insulted. RHJ is a humor group - and slurs are not funny.
Quoting messages
It is bad netiquette, for example, to quote a 50 line message with only a
few words of original text. It is also bad form to fail to quote a message
on which you are commenting. And lastly, it is bad form to delete sections
or text from a message to which you are responding - unless you use the
device [snip], [cut], [text deleted], an ellipsis or something like that.
Know what you're talking about and make sense
Pay attention to the content of your writing. Be sure you know what you're
talking about -- when you see yourself writing "it's my understanding
that"
or "I believe it's the case," ask yourself whether you really want to post
this note before checking your facts. You can always ask "is it true
that.?"
Don't post flame-bait. Don't publicly flame
While "flaming" (publicly berating) is acceptable in some newsgroups, it
is
not accepted in RHJ. Be pleasant and polite. Don't use offensive language,
and don't be confrontational for the sake of confrontation. Don't harass
someone publicly or privately over a difference in opinion.
Don't abuse your power
Some people in the internet have more power than others. Knowing more than
others, or having more power than they do, does not give you the right to
take advantage of them. If you disagree with someone, it is Very Bad
netiquette to forge their header, complain to their ISP, flame them in an
unmoderated NG, post their name and home address, or place them on
emailing
lists.
Be forgiving of other people's mistakes
If someone makes a spelling or grammatical error, errs in the title of a
song, or makes some other minor typo, don't post just to correct them. If
you feel you must educate people, do it by private email. Everyone was a
network newbie once -- be kind about it. Having knowledge doesn't give you
license to correct everyone else. If you do decide to inform someone of a
mistake, point it out politely, and preferably by private email rather
than
in public. Give people the benefit of the doubt; assume they just don't
know
any better. And never be arrogant or self-righteous about it. Pointing out
netiquette violations are in themselves examples of poor netiquette!
Don't post questions to the moderators
It's okay to ask the mods questions. In RHJ, it's not okay to *post* these
questions. Use private email to the questions address.
Don't harass the moderators
If you disagree with a moderators decision, you can appeal it. It is
perfectly acceptable to question or appeal a decision. But if you lose the
appeal, accept it as a misunderstanding and go on. Moderation is not
omniscience nor possessing Solomon-esque judgement capabilities. It is
volunteering to do one's best. The workload is enormous -- starting up the
NG took *many* hundreds of hours, being a moderator is a significant
commitment of one's time. Please be nice to us, we're human and we do make
mistakes.
Don't use the subject "joke"
Use descriptive and specific subject lines. This helps others decide
whether
your particular words of wisdom relate to a topic they care about.
Reply to current threads
Most servers and news readers delete messages after two weeks. Reply to
current messages. If you're replying to message more than a week old,
treat
it as a new thread or be sure to include a copy of the message you're
referring to.
Rev 5/1/06
+++++++++++++++++++++++ 6 +++++++++++++++++++++++++
Technical problems
Is your post being seen by anyone but you?
Following up on a poster's complaint, we found that *many* ISPs did not
have
their systems properly configured. This resulted in a lot of folks seeing
their own post on their systems -- but just about nobody else did.
And nobody ever answered them. :-(
We've contacted a number of ISPs and told them about the problem. Some
have
responded, some have not. In any case, here's what you can do to help:
1. When you post, you will automatically receive a confirmation from our
software. If you don't get this note -- we didn't get your post (unless
you
are using a spamblocker address).
2. If you see your post within a few minutes after you submit it, we
didn't
get your post -- it bypassed the moderation system.
What to do: If you suspect that we're not getting your posts -- *don't*
use
your newsreader software to post, instead submit by email. Send your
submissions to: RHJ@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
you think that your ISP has the newsgroup misconfigured, you can help
us
by looking for "errant" posts. If you see an "XXX" or "Make Money Fast"
post
(or some other weird post that just shouldn't be in RHJ), send it to us
*with the complete header*.
+++++++++++++++++++++++ 7 +++++++++++++++++++++++++
end
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